One of my favorite places in Italy is not a Roman site. It is not a medieval town. It is a marvelous, magical place called Leccio, where one can find luxury outlets, the likes of Gucci, Prada, Moncler and Burberry. I have been able to procure Prada purses for 250 euros, Montcler jackets for 100 euros and Gucci dresses for 300 euros.  I was ready to see the bargains.

 

I set out from Castel del Bosco at 2pm, and called DonnaD. I love to chat while driving and, as I told her on the phone, “I know the way without the GPS.” I plugged it into the Apple Maps nonetheless because I love and ETA prediction. The Fi-Pi-Li was rather uneventful, until the bottleneck at Ginestra. But, even with that, the journey went smoothly along the road that the locals call “the devil’s way” because of all its traffic.

 

I entered the A1 autostrada, called the Autostrada del Sole (the Highway of the Sun), and drove toward Rome. In fewer than 20 miles, I was at my exit: Regello-Incisa. I exited and paid my toll (2.5 euros). I veered right and approached the first traffic circle. I exited at the first spoke, as I thought I should. The GPS immediately told me to go 1.5 miles to the next rotunda and u-turn back. I thought to myself, “I fi am going 1.5 miles just to turn around, I am going to keep going and and let the GPS redirect me. It seemed like a good idea. Besides, I knew I was headed toward Regello anyway.  I guess I didn’t remember the road as well as I had boasted…

 

The GPS finally caught up to me and took me to the left. It seemed right because I had a vague feeling that The Mall was “over there in that direction.” (I actually have a 6^th sense and superpower which involves finding the mall in any town without a map…). I followed the GPS down the road which immediately became a one lane road. (This is where you remember hearing stories of people who follow the gps off a cliff…) I was being told that I needed to follow this road another mile where the road would veer left and who knows after that. It was at that very moment that my one lane road became ¾ of a lane. I took a deep breath and kept going. It was the longest mile of my life. 

 

I made it to the next indication: one mile to via Aretina. Here is a pro tip: via Aretina in any location is a road with at least two full lanes and often has speed limits of 70 k/h. Feeling better, I embarked on what actually was the longest mile of my life, as I encountered two other cars coming straight at me on the ¾ lane road. They clearly knew the drill because they pulled their large SUVs into the ditch to let me pass.  

 

I eventually found my way to via Aretina and made the left which would take me to The Mall.  In 3 minutes I was parking my beleaguered hybrid in the parking lot.  I put on my Liberty mask and set off to the shops.  I immediately ascertained that Pucci was gone. I was a little bummed, because Pucci always had the best stuff at great prices.  But, there was still Gucci, Prada, Moncler, Ferragamo, Loro Piana, Valentino, Tods, Burberry and many others. I went first to Moncler.

 

Moncler sits away from all the other shops, not being officially part of The Mall complex. I made the trek, confident I would find a treasure. I entered the shop, sanitized my hands and started to browse. The prices did not look like the outlet prices I had seen three years ago. A vest was 750 euros, a jacket 1000 euros. I looked through every rack, to see if perhaps there might be a bargain rack. No such luck.

 

Feeling defeated, I went to Prada. I always had luck at Prada. Everything looked as it had before. Except the price tags. The prices looked no different than the prices at Saks or Neiman Marcus. I did see a pair of sunglasses for 140 euros, but I was too discouraged to consummate the purchase. On to Gucci.

 

Gucci is in a new building since the last time I shopped there.  Three years ago, there was such a line to get into the shop, that I turned up my nosed and walked away thinking, “it will be a cold day on hell that I stand in line to enter ANY store.” Boy, did I have no idea what was coming…

 

There was no line today. I entered, sanitized and had my temp taken on my wrist. I went immediately to the clothes. There were gorgeous dresses on the racks. I immediately though that this might be the place to get a dress for a party I have coming up in September. One jumped into my hands. I peered into the dress to inspect the price tag for the size and price. Size 40: perfect. Price: 1200 euros. I gingerly replaced the dress on the rack.  I repeated the process for 6 other dresses. All my size, but all with prices out of this world.  Now, lest you think I have unreasonable expectations, I bought a back velvet strapless number at Gucci a few years ago, and I paid about 300 for it. The other dresses there were all about the same price point.  I left empty handed and empty hearted.

 

I ventured up to the main complex to try my luck at Burberry and Ferragamo. It was the same story. The prices were over the top. The only thing left to do was to go home. I trudged back to my car, hot from my mask, and depressed by the fact that I found nothing. In all my years (20 to be exact) of coming here, I had never left empty handed. Never. Not once. 

 

The trip home was quicker than the trip to The Mall. When I reached the toll plaza at Scandicci, I was read with my 2.50. Unfortunately, it was 1.70 and I had to scramble for change because my original 2 euro coin was rejected.  After I got it all paid and heard the “Arrivederci” of the automated toll taker, I merged onto the Fi-Pi-Li. Even the bottleneck seemed to move faster on the way home. As I drove, I tried to think of all the reasons I hadn’t bought anything. My principal reason seemed to be the prices. But, why were the prices so high? I guess they didn’t sell anything for a whole year and they are trying to recoup their losses. However, as we explained to William (who is organizing a yard sale on Saturday), isn’t it better to make some money than none? I guess they will find out if their strategy will work. It didn’t look like much was getting sold. Sad for us all.