sabato 7 aprile 2012

Just when it was starting to get good

Just when it was starting to get good...

It is Saturday. The last day of our cruise. Today we got up early, went to the makeshift gym on board, which consists of one (1) elliptical, which doesn't plug in, but runs on batteries, two (2) treadmills, and two (2) bikes. We did our usual one hour of cardio, then went down to breakfast. The food onboard the Orient Queen really is superior to that which was served on the Cristal. After a lovely breakfast, we retired to our cabin and basically relaxed until it was time to eat again.

As an aside, you should know that housekeeping is rather over zealous on the Orient Queen. Yesterday, we were visited no less than six (6) times for various and sundry reasons. Today, in the three hours between breakfast and lunch, we had three (3) visits. Just when we had gotten comfortable, or had dozed off for a cat nap... Knock knock knock. "Housekeeping.". It was almost as if the Cristal had sent over a copy of our pictures and said : "Keep these two on their toes!"

When it was time for lunch, we headed up to the Horizon Restaurant and when we arrived, we were seated with a family we had had dinner with last night. Let me now take this opportunity to tell you about the assortment of people we have seen on this cruise, starting first with this particular family. We saw them the first day on the Cristal: a mother, about 60 and German looking, father, 60 and Persian, and a daughter. We figured our age-- early 40's. She had this far away look about her, and we were convinced that she was probably drug addicted, or a recovering addict of some sort. We immediately dubbed her AA in da house and her parents as just mom and dad. Everyhwere we were, they were, too. Every tour, every meal. Even in the lounge... Mom and dad loved a nightcap. AA always went right to bed. But, we never interfaced with them. It became something of a running joke to say, "Oohh, AA in da house" every time they surfaced. Little did we know that they would be following us to the Orient Queen! When I discovered this, Maureen was on the elliptical and I had gone to the disembarkation meeting. They were in the same figurative and literal boat as we were regarding the screwed up itinerary. As soon as the meeting ended, I nearly broke my leg running to the gym to tell Maureen that AA in da house and mom and dad were coming with us to the next ship. When we got to the new ship and had to register for table reservations, Maureen said, "wouldn't it be funny if AA in da house and mom and dad were seated with us for dinner?". I replied that it would be funny, but we weren't that lucky...

Well, as luck would have it, THEY WERE! And as luck would FURTHER have it, they are freaking from DC! They seemed as amused by the turn of luck as we were to be seated all together. It turns out that the daughter is not AA, but she is "special." Mom and dad are super cool and we had a great time talking to them at dinner, swapping warstories, as it were, about the Cristal. AA, well, bless her heart. She seemed still to live at home, and try as her parents have, she seems to have a job as a massage therapist. The dad is a retired scientist and mom seems to have been in the hospitality industry. It was less jarring to be seated together at lunch today, as well. We enjoyed the conversation and it passed the time until we were able to go up on deck and see the entry into the port of Istanbul, which happened about an hour ahead of schedule.

We went up and got some amazing photos of the Blue Mosque and the Hagia Sophia from the Bosphorous. It made us a little sad that we were not going to see anything, since as soon as we disembarked we were going straight to the airport, as per the instructions of "mom and dad" who had told us at lunch that we were leaving during rush hour and that we shouldn't chance it, and go directly to the airport-- the traffic would be horrible. And, horrible it is. This traffic makes the beltway look like child's play. As I type this, I am in the back seat of a yellow fiat sitting in the worst traffic I have ever seen in my life. We clearly made the right decision to go directly to the airport. Hopefully, we will get in, get a coffee and I will be able to upload the last three blog entries. I know there are many people following, even if it feels like I am typing these out just for myself. I hope you are enjoying our trials and tribulations... And, Darla, send Donna D your address so I can send you your prize for identifying the Kellerman's reference ;) !

Just when you give up all hope...

When we arrived to Piraeus (Athens) the Louis Cristal terminated its service. That was a problem, since we needed to start and end in Istanbul. As a result, Louis Cruise Lines graciously offered to transfer us to another ship and take us back to our starting point. The transfer would happen at 8:00 AM to the Orient Queen, a much smaller liner. We were escorted over where nothing seemed to be waiting or ready for us. We also had been assured that we would have plenty of time in Athens to tour around and that we would be left with explicit directions how to get downtown. to the Acropolis, etc. All of the most important information. But, as I am sure you have guessed, THAT did not happen. We were left on the Orient Queen, much like the redheaded step child is left on alternate Sundays and at the end of summer vacation: feeling sad, alone and basically a burden.

We went to the excursion desk after going to our new cabin (#6051) A.K.A. the smallest coffin on the face of the earth... "How does one get into Athens from here?" And, I swear to God this was her reply: "You just go out the door and start walking." I didn't even know what to do with that comment. Maureen, who clearly was more on top of things than I was, quickly retorted: "Is it better to take a taxi or the subway or is there a better way?" "Oh yes, a taxi is best." "Ok. how much, about, will a taxi cost?" "I do not know. But there is list on the wall with the places and costs."

I was, actually, rather impressed that there would be a list of approximate taxi charges posted anywhere, because, in all of my travels, I have never encountered such a list. We came out of the port terminal and began looking for this glorious list. SURPRISE. No such list exists. Yet another lie we were told by the staff of Louis Cruise Lines.

However, within seconds, a man approached us. "You need taxi?" "Weeeelll, yesssss. We need a taxi. But, first, about how much will it cost to go to the Acropolis?" And, ladies and gentlemen, this is where it gets unbelieveable: (this was in pretty broken English)

"OK: how this sound? When you need be back? By one o'clock? OK. You see Acropolis, Parliment, Olympic Stadio, Plaka you be back here at one. That is 4 hour. You like I take you." I was a little wary of this... so I asked: "How much for that?" "One million... hahaha.... I just kidding... One hundred euro. Four hour." I looked at Maureen and I thought, 50 each not to have to fuss, hassle, navigate a strange city on my own... I was down with that. "What do you think, I think it is a good idea not to have to deal with the headache..." Thankfully, she agreed and the next thing we knew, we were getting into a cab. Costas, our private driver for the morning, began telling us in very limited English about how many people lived in Piraeus and Athens, a little history and pointed out things along the way. He even pulled the cab over so we could take pictures of Athens across the marina. At one point, he swerved into a side street that looked like at any time, a hoarde of criminals could ambush the car, drag us out and shoot us up with heroin and shove us into the sex slave trade... "It only just now occurred to me what we have done... My father would have a heart attack if he knew we just got into a non-descript cab in the port of Athens, never to be heard from again..." "Yeah, well you just won't tell him..." "Until he reads the blog..." So, Daddy, calm down now, this is the way it works in Greece, apparently... We met another group (that blog will follow, where we tell you about the typical 'cruiser' we met along the way...) and they did the same thing with their cabbie. It is totally value for the price: if you figure, we were spending 65 euro for the tour organized by the ship, and then we get left behind. At least with this, we were sure to see what we needed. But, I digress...

We got to the Acropolis and he pulls into a parking lot and says: "OK. You go there. One hour and a half. Come right back here at 10:30. OK. Bye." I looked at Maureen, shrugged my shoulders and we crossed the street. I said, "DO you not think it is weird that he didn't want us to pay him now something? I mean, we could totally ditch him, and have gotten a free ride in to the city. I mean, of course we are not going to ditch him, but HE doesn't know that..." Maureen figured that this wasn't his first rodeo and he was probably a good judge of character. We wouldn't be the types that would do that sort of thing. So, we headed up the very steep incline to the ticket office and then up further throught the Propylaea (the gateway into the temple complex). We spend the hour and now fifteen minutes walking around, taking pictures and basically admiring the spectacular views of the city from the highest point in the city. It was amazing, unlike anything I had ever seen before. And exactly the right amount of time to have spent. Clearly, Costas knew what he was doing.

We exited the Acropolis and went back to the cab. ANd, sure enough, Costas was there waiting for us. We hopped in the cab and we were off to the next stop: the Temple of Zeus. "You get out here: come back in 15 minutes. You no pay ticket. Use acropolis ticket. No pay. Ok?." And, like obedient school children, we went on our way. Sure enough, 15 minutes was the perfect amount of time to spend. We returned and Costas announced we would see parliment and then the presidential palace and the changing of the guard. And sure enough, we drove slowly enough past the parliment building to get some snaps and then we stopped at the palace. Costas pulled the cab over and we all got out. Sure enough, the guard was changing. It was like they saw Costas' yellow cab turn the corner and they started the drill. It took about 5 minutes and then Costas says: "You go stand there. I take picture." And, sure enough, we took a picture of the three of us: me, Maureen and the guard. The amount of time the whole thing took was exactly the same amount of time it took to smoke a cigarette. I personally think that Costas has timed this so perfectly over the years that he can build in breaks approrpriately.

Next, we whizzed our way past the Olympic Stadium (stopping quickly to take a picture) and then to the shopping area called the Plaka, where there was apparently another site (I think it was the Roman Agora, but I could be wrong, as we opted to have a coffee instead of going into the site). Costas gave us our marching orders: "You go there. Just walk. Plaka... 100 meters.... come here one hour. 12:30 here Alpha Bank. OK? Ok." And with that, he was off. We meandered through the shop-lined pedestrian walkway until Maureen squeals: "OH MY GOD! THERE'S A STARBUCKS!" And, with that, we declared that this had been the perfect day, by anyone's standards: sight seeing, beautiful weather, private driver, and now a grande skinny sugarfree vanilla latte. We ordered, hooked onto the free wifi and enjoyed a lovely coffee outside under the cloudlessly blue Greek sky. When our time in the Plaka was up, we went back to the agreed upon rendezvous point. And, sure enough, Costas was there waiting for us. We climbed into the cab and headed back to the port. When we got back, we paid him his 100 euros and exchanged hand shakes and hugs all around and we all parted company, us to the Orient Queen and him to his next victims, I mean, passengers. All kidding aside, I'd bet that he makes a pretty good living doing that: if he has 2 of these "situations" a day, 20 days a month, cash (i.e. tax free). You do the math! Costas is bring in some good drachma!

We returned to our new digs on the Orient Queen to get ready to get underway, and to relax after our whirlwind tour of Athens. It was a great day, totally unexpected on so many different levels. It was refreshing to see that somewhere in this world there is still someone (apparently an entire culture of 'someones') who is so unjaded by everyday life that he trusts complete strangers to do the honest thing. This sort of thing would NEVER happen back home. We are the land of "pay before you pump." I am probably the most untrusting person out there, and this experience would have shaken me had it happened under any other circumstances. I would have tried to pay before, or pay half now, half later. But, because there was a language barrier, I just went with it, trusting that the cabbie knew what he was doing. If only we could get back to that level of mutual trust. But, then again, Greece is a mess... maybe they need to trust less and be more jaded. Then, they wouldn't have to strike as much and they economy would not be a drag on the rest of Europe. Maybe we do have the right idea, afteralll, in the USA...

And on the seventh day...

And on the seventh day...

Sorry there was no blog posted on Thursday, but, frankly, we had had just about enough and could not bring ourselves to relive it via the written word.

We got up on Thursday morning and were marshalled to buses which would take us to the Palace at Knossos. I was, personally, looking forward to seeing this, as this is something I always used to teach: the story of Theseus and the Minotaur and Ariadne... Catullus 64 is such a favorite of mine. So, excited to see this mythic complex, reconstructed as it was, I boarded bus number 5, ready for anything. We drove a very short distance with all the other "English Speaking Passengers Traveling Individually" being led by a guide called 'Katarina.' She was a sight to behold, to be sure. She was a vision in brown... a belly shirt which revealed an ample belly, and sultan pants, think Units, circa 1988. She began giving us background to Crete, the population, the geography, you know, the regular run-down we had been getting from the other local guides. Then, I closed my eyes and just kind of nodded off. She had one of those voices which didn't really engage the listener nor did it inspire one to take notice.

We arrived at the archaeological site within minutes, leaving the bus to enter the exhibition. All assembled, Maureen and I both turned out backs for a split second, (ok, more like 35 seconds) to snap a picture, and POOF! The guide and the ENTIRE group had disappeared. Like Brigadoon, they were a mere figment of our collective memory. We took off after them, or at least after where we imagined they MAY have gone. Nothing. We followed the paths through the palace complex, searching high and low. No sign of them. So, we kind of gave up looking and instead walked through, snapping pictures and imagining what the different things might be that we were seeing. The worst part was that we had paid 65 Euros each for the pleasure and privilege of being left behind and depreived of the tour. This was just the last straw. To say that we were (and, truth be told, still are) bitter is an extreme understatement,

We returned to the ship and began the journey to Santorini. This took about 4 hours, give or take. In the interim, Maureen worked out and I began the packing process, since Thursday was, effectively, the last day of our cruise on the Cristal. At 3:45, the Louis Cristal pulled in to the waters in front of Santorini. We disembarked on tenders, which docked up against the Cristal, which was not stopping because there was not a place to drop anchor (think mid-air refueling style). It was harrowing and not something I am looking forward to repeating any time soon. Upon arriving ashore, we took a cable car straight up to the top of a cliff where we found a very picturesque little resort village, a little like San Marino in the kitch factor. We had a latte in a cafe overlooking the caldera of the volcano, and then, as quickly as arrived, we departed.

Dinner in the main dining room was, communal, as always, but we were permitted to order from a menu tonight. I ordered the entrecote and Maureen had the perch. On the menu, it clearly stated that my meat would be "grilled to your liking." I ordered and when I was not asked how I wanted my steak done, I asked Maureen to mention to the guy taking the order that I wanted it 'rare.' He stated very quickly, 'it comes all the same. Is like a roast.' Hmmmm.... entrecote is a steak, not a roast. So, a moment later, he came back and asked me again how I wanted my meat cooked, apparently, he had never been told how to cook a steak before, and he didn't know what an entrecote was. Nice. Soon, our meals arrived, and along with my meat came a knife.... a butter knife. I was not able to saw my way through more than half of the meat on my plate. When he came to collect my plate, he was appalled that I had left so much. "What? Is no good?" "It was fine. I just couldn't hack through it with the knife you left. Had you been by to check on us, you would have known that." He just ignored my snark, took my plate and skulked off to the kitchen. Whatever. Again, it was simply the icing on the cake.

After dinner, we headed to our favorite seat in the Rendezvous Lounge for one last night of hits. The hits were less inspired than usual. The bloom was clearly off the rose and we were thoroughly disillusioned. We ordered the banana mocha latte, as we had done each and every night of the cruise. It came, not as a mocha, but sans chocolate. Yuck. I was just too tired to argue. Maureen, however, was not. "I'm sick of being treated like this." And she marched the coffees back to the bar. Shortly, they came back right. But, we were done.

We went down to our cabin at about 11, ready to sack out, because we had decided to get up before 5 to work out early. This was essential, since we had to vacate the cabin no later than 7 AM. We came down to the floor only to find scads of teens congregating in the hall. We gave them a few minutes and then turned out the light, hoping they would simmer down. They didn't. I opened the door, and announced in my loudest, bitchiest voice, "Ok ladies, let's take it into our rooms and turn out the lights. We all have to be up early tomorrow." They turned, ostensibly to disperse. Boy, was I wrong. The phone rang about 20 minutes later, about 10 minutes after I had finally drifted off to sleep. "You called for a wake-up call?" The heavily accented front desk worker was asking. "No!" I hung up abruptly. About 5 minutes later, the phone rang again. "You call for wake-up call?" "NO!" Slamming down the receiver. This scenario played out 3 more times before I threatened: "I am not calling for a wake-up call. If youcall one more time, I am coming up there!" That was it. No more calls. But, the damage was done. I never did get completely back to sleep.

We did get up early, get our work out done and checked out from the M/V Louis Cristal in record time. When we met Elizabeth, the cruise director (think Dawn French with 80's hair), and told her the tale of our woe, from the screwed up reservations to the unruly kids, she just stared blanklt at us and offered an empty apology. We both filled in comment cards with extensive and detaoled commentary on our cruise experience. I don't expect to get a follow-up communique from the Louis Cruise Lines, but at least I feel better for having gotten it all off my chest.

mercoledì 4 aprile 2012

It is like deja vu all over again

It's like déjà vu all over again

My favorite Yogi Berra truism is "it's like déjà vu all over again." Every part of today felt like something we had done before, even though we were on a vacation we have never before taken. Let's begin with how the 4th of April, 2012 officially began:

At the strike of midnight, we were awoken by the stampede of teenaged feet, followed by the sound of drunken voices. Maureen and I shot up out of our respective beds, (the cabin is really comfortable, except the beds are a little like cots...) and Maureen bolted for the door. The next thing I knew, she was down the hall chewing out a bunch of 16 boys and girls: "Listen. My friend and I are both teachers. We've taken kids on these trips... We know what goes on...". She didn't have to say another word. One of the boys just said, "yes, ma'am." while the girls threw some relatively dirty looks. Regardless, we didn't hear another PEEP out of them. I wish that was all it would have taken to get Langley, Spring Break 2006 under control. I still have nightmares about the night we stayed in Siena...

Eventually, we fell back asleep until 6:15 when we got up, dressed and went up to breakfast. We eat breakfast in the same dining room each day, Asia seems to be the nicest-- a buffet. The downside is that they seat you family style with people you don't know, or care to know. There seemed to be 10 workers for every diner this morning. If one more person asked me if I wanted another coffee, I was going to scream! I even took another coffee, thinking that would keep them from asking me, and it didn't. A full cup in front of me, and I still got asked if I wanted more. The theme of this cruise seems to me more, more, more. My dad would have loved this in his heyday... It is all you can eat, 24/7. We used to joke that he could put a smorgasbord into receivership in one visit. But, I digress...

We got our exercise out of the way, early, and got cleaned up. At about 10:30, we headed off the boat and into the port city of the island of Rhodes. As I mentioned before, our organized tours were canceled due to planned strikes of whomever... I'm not sure what public sector was disgruntled today. So, we were left to our own devices. As soon as we exited the port area, we saw up ahead a hop-on, hop-off tour bus. "Hot damn! A tour bus!". For those who are new to following my travels, let me tell you one thing you need to know about how I roll: I love a hop-on hop-off bus. Thank god I travel with someone who is equally appreciative of a semi-organized tour. It was like God himself was watching over us, as the bus was just sitting there, empty and waiting for us. We paid our €9 each, and boarded. There was no brochure so we had no idea where we were going,mor what we would see. I popped down to ask for a map, and was given just that: a map of the island... Hmmm... This didn't bode well. But, we were on and it didn't matter much. We took off and kept waiting for the commentary to begin. Just music. We drove past interesting sites, still just music. We went up the hill, to the acropolis, still music. Soon, there was a little information, badly placed, about the ethnic and cultural origins of the island. Then, more music. Soon, the voice came back and thanked me for my attention, and informed me that the tour ended here. Huh. I knew nothing about the island. I would even dare to say that I knew even less after the tour than before. What was funny was that up on the acropolis, we saw another bus, from another company, and Maureen said, "Hey. I think that's the bus we wanted..." It did look much more reputable, and I'd be willing to bet that they got commentary and maps. But, at that point, in for a penny, in for a pound. Right? Soon, the bus dropped us at the gate to the old city. We disembarked from the bus and started down the road. We walked up and down each and every little side street, snapping photos along the way. We went tot the museum in the Knights' Palace, which houses some of the most beautiful Roman mosaics I have ever seen. (it reminded me a lot of Ferrara and the fortress-castle we visited last year.) After our museum visit, we did some souvenir shopping and grabbed a little lunch. Maureen ordered a Greek salad and mussels saganaki. I had some feta cheese. The feta was the smoothest, nicest feta I have ever eaten. Maureen declared her Greek salad to be the "Greek-est" she'd ever had. After lunch, we meandered our way back toward the boat. Maureen looked at me and said, "You know, it is weird that we are going back to a boat. It feels like we should be going back to the car. Today feels like it was any other day of any other vacation we have taken. It was kind of nice to have a familiar day like that.". I have to agree with her. It really did feel like a day we have already lived, but lived in another skin. The tour bus was kind of like Coimbra. The lunch, kind of like Merida. The museum, Ferrara. The souvenir shopping, like the Amalfi Coast. The difference is that those trips were another lifetime ago.

Tonight is the captain's cocktail hour and "elegant dress" dinner. We have decided to take advantage of this by booking in to the restaurant that doesn't serve the masses boarding house style. I expect we will round out the evening with some hits, a piña colada and a banana mocha latte. Because, as the saying goes, the more things change, the more things stay the same... And we are both creatures of habit, if nothing else!

lunedì 2 aprile 2012

Turkish Delights

Day four of the cruise brought us back to Turkey this morning. We had a show time of 7:15 AM for our tour of Ancient Ephesus, so we were up and out by 6:45 for breakfast and bus boarding. We boarded bus number 22, along with all the other "English Speakers Not Affiliated with Other Groups" a.k.a. the adults not chaperoning EF tour groups... We were led by a very nice turkish man called Oz, who spoke absolutely impeccable English. (As an aside, it embarrasses me to think that so many non-native English speakers exists outside our borders and so many Americans refuse to learn a second language with any sort of proficiency...) Our bus took us about 30 minutes inland to the archaelogical site of Ephesus, a Roman city which thrived between the 2nd century BC and 2nd century AD, and then finally was abandoned in around the 7th century AD. On the road, we passed an arena which is used for CAMEL WRESTLING. Yes, you read correctly, CAMEL WRESTLING. Oz advised us to Google it on YouTube and we would see the phenomenon of the sport. Apparently, two festooned male camels are led into a ring. A female camel is led in and is "introduced" to the males. They are sufficiently "aroused" then they are muzzled and the female is led out. They then fight until one gives up and the other proudly struts around the ring the victor. It is unclear if he actually gets the girl in the end... But, nonetheless, it sounds dazzling! I cannot wait to get home to see how it all works!

So, we arrived at the archaelogical site and toured the ruins in about an hour and a half. It was the perfect amount of time. My friends are forever surprised that I am not such a fan of touring ancient sites. The truth be told, I don't watch movies with ancient themes or high school kids as protagonists, either. I find that I spend all my professional time with the ancient Romans, I need some other interests. Also, I find that the tour guides usually screw up facts and I have little patience for misinformation and cannot stand to keep quiet. So, rather than look like the obnoxious Latin teacher, it is easier to steer clear. That said, we went from there back to Kusadasi, the port, where we were taken to a rug and jewelry gallery.

The were led into a shop and upstairs to a staging area where there were 4 long cushioned benches. A rotund man came in and introduced himself. At this point, I wasn't really paying attention, because I had no intention of buying anything, and really was fixated on heading back to the ship to work out before our spa appointments. This man then asked who would like "refreshment" (insert appropriate Borat accent). Maureen, who by now has fully imbibed the kool aid, ordered a Turkish coffee, I ordered nothing, not wanting to get bogged down by the "extra." the next thing we knew, a gaggle of 20 year old guys came from nowhere and started unfurling carpets onto the hardwood exposition floor. The whole while, the emcee was talking about the ways in which the rugs were made, the women who tied each knot by hand, the goats who supplied the wool, etc. it was dazzling to see the speed with which these boys slapped the rugs one on top of each other. Then one came out and caught my eye. With that I got sucked in. The emcee kept inviting the audience to "please. Come touch carpet. Stand on carpet.". I walked over to the one I liked and felt it. It felt like a rug... But, I was mesmerized by the colors; they really were unlike anything I had ever seen in a Turkish/ oriental carpet. Then, another rug came out, (by now, there had to be 150 rugs on the floor) and Maureen made a bee-line over to that. With that, the round man came over and asked me if I like. I said I did, and the next thing I knew, I was being led into a back room where I negotiated in a culturally appropriate manner. Maureen soon joined me and, she, too, settled on a good price for her rug. After the paperwork was finished, we were led downstairs into the jewelry gallery. We were then shown a myriad of pieces, all beautiful, but, again, one spoke to me as soon as it came up: a rose gold bracelet with rubies and diamonds. So gorgeous. Likewise, Maureen heard the siren song of a beautiful ring. It is absolutely the perfect ring, interesting and one of a kind. The designer of both pieces, the wife of the young Turk who was behind the counter, was there to ooh and ahh with us over her creations. We decided we couldn't leave without these pieces and again produced credit cards... I am very pleased, however, with my purchases. In both instances, as soon as I saw them, I knew they needed to come home with me. The rug is absolutely gorgeous, and unlike any sort of rug I have ever seen in my life. It is blue, orange and yellow and will go in my bedroom. It is 4x6 and they were able to fold it up into a little attache case size for easy transport home. It was really surprising how the whole operation works, however, I shouldn't be surprised. But, the prices were excellent and really were deals I couldn't pass up.

After we collected out booty, we high tailed it back to the ship in time for our honey massages and rejuvenating facials. Wow. They basically drip honey on your back and knead it in, removing toxins along the way. I have no idea how it works, because I slept through the whole thing. It was the most relaxed I think I have ever been in my entire life! We went from the spa to the gym, then from the gym to the cabin to clean up for the afternoon's tour: Patmos. We boarded bus number 10 with our guide, Sakki, who had a perfect Australian accent. It was a little distracting, but he, too, spoke perfect English, albeit Aussie English. We went to the town of Choros to see windmills and breath taking views, the grotto when St. John the Apostle wrote the book of Revelations, and breath taking views, then to the other side of the island for, you guessed it, more breath taking views. Patmos is what you think of when you think of Greek island: white stucco homes, rocky hillsides, bright blue cloudless skies. It was without a doubt some of the most picturesque photos I have ever taken

We came back into the port for an aperitif and then headed back to the ship, tired and feeling like we had accomplished so much: up early, tours, retail, exercise, relax... it was a day with EVERYTHING!

After cleaning up just a bit, we headed up the stairs for dinner from the buffet. After dinner, we went to the Rendez-Vous Lounge for some hits from our favorite Filipino singing couple. Tonight, we had a new entry into the repertoire: an ABBA MEDLEY!!! We also had "We are the World..." I cannot comment on that choice without appearing elitist, so I will just say that I sang along, wishing I had a cigarette lighter to send up...
But, in the end, I was so excited to hear the hits, especially some oldies but goodies! By 10PM, the banana latte was clearly NOT keeping my eyes open, so I made the decision to head to the cabin and type the blog. Even as I am typing this, drunk 16 year olds are making their way, noisily down the hall to their rooms. Maureen poked her head out and decided that they were going to their rooms, waaaaaay down the hall, so didn't scold them... yet. We are hoping to get a nice quiet night's sleep so we can get up early and get the gym out of the way. Our tours of Rhodes and Lindos have been cancelled on account of planned strikes. I guess that is how it goes in Greece. I suppose I would have been disappointed if there hadn't been any striking.

We are planning a full morning on board of exercise and yoga. Then we are going out on our own to walk around Rhodes. Wish us luck that we make it back for the 'all aboard!' We are having a great time and today both admitted that we were getting used to the idea of cruising and that we would both do another cruise again. I think that now that we know how the whole process works, and that we know what to expect, the set backs and disappointments are less devastating.

I leave you with this: "It's true we make a brighter day, just you and me..." Hearing the chanteuse sing these words tonight made me reflect on the veracity of those words. We need to make our own destiny and stop being victims... when we decided just to roll with it, baby, our entire attitude changed. This has been a great vacation so far. Hope yours is equally peaceful!

Yummy Kool-Aid

2 April 2012

My days always begin very early. By very early, I mean that I usually awaken by 3:45AM. Being on vacation is typically no exception. This morning, however, I slept in a little. I stirred at about 5:30. I looked out the window and saw the most glorious thing: a bright orange disk on the horizon illuminating and reflecting all things around it. I thought to myself, "Golly. That is the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen... I really am very lucky...." I stayed in bed another few minutes, wanting to savor this beautiful sunrise. After about five minutes, I decided to get up and grab my camera and take a photo of this miracle of nature. But, as I got closer to the window, I realized that the orange disk on the horizon was not the sun. It was a street lamp attached to the embarkation terminal of the port at Piraeus. I felt like a complete dumbass... Why am I sharing my "duh" moment with you on this blog? Well, even though the the miracle was not really a miracle at all, it still made me remember I am very lucky to be on this trip. It may not be what I thought it would be, but it was something totally worthwhile and I needed to suck it up and acknowledge that.

So, today we had an epiphany. When we came back from breakfast first thing (it was first thing because we had an announcement on the PA that said that breakfast was from 6-7:15 and we jumped up in a panic lest we miss...) I looked at Maureen and said, "Listen, I think we (and by we I mean me) I think we have been a little bratty about this cruise. I mean, we are on a ship in the Greek islands. We should try and make the most of it." Maureen replied, "Yeah. You are probably right... we just need to drink the kool-aid and be done with it.." So, that's what we did. Today, we drank the kool-aid.

After breakfast and our workout in the gym, We got a latte in the Riveria Lounge, (think LIDO Deck of the Love Boat, where Isaac mixed up yummy cocktails for Charro and where Kristy MacNichol and Scott Baio frolicked in the pool....) and pulled out a copy of the cruise news in order to look over all the days events. "9AM-Noon Spa orientation; 1:30 Friends of Bill W. (AA); 3:00 Greek lesson; 3:30 Greek Dance Class; 4:00 Yoga; 5:00 Greek Mythology Trivia Quiz; 6:00, Mykonos; 7:30 Dinner..." So much to choose from, I am not even going into the origami, teen get-together (more on that to follow), scavenger hunts and walk-a-thons...

"God, this cruise is so Kellerman's!" (A prize to the person who can name the reference...) "Let's choose what we are going to do today. I vote for a spa orientation and let's book some treatments... then maybe the Greek lesson, yoga, the trivia quiz..." So, we did. We booked in to the spa, one treatment today, two for tomorrow. At 10:30, we had to participate in the life boat drill. The "emergency siren" blasted at 10:30 AM and we headed up one deck to the back of the ship wearing our orange life vests. For future reference, we have been assigned to boat #9. When we finished there, we had our treatment, a lipoactive massage which was meant to massage away cellulite. Not sure whether it works, but by virtue of it being European, it has a lot more credibility that what you get at the Red Door.

After the spa, it was time for lunch. There are several different dining options on this cruise. You may eat by the pool from a pasta and pizza buffet. Or, you may eat off of one of two cafeteria style buffets consisting of hamburgers and hotdogs. There is one buffet which is what I would deem healthy, adult food. Mthis is where Maureen and I have been eating. When we got to the buffet of healthy options, we were turned away: "no seats, go to another buffet.". We asked if the food was the same on the other lines, as we hadn't seen the others. "Oh, yes. The same.". So,mew headed across the way to option number 2. It was the most revolting looking crap I had ever seen. Kid friendly food. We went BACK to the original line. After standing for just a few moments, we were permitted entry. Thank God for it. We had a lovely meal of spiced lamb meatballs, peas and cauliflower and salad. All very nicely prepared. On our way out, I said to the man at the door who originally told us all the lines were the same, "just so you know: the lines are not all 'same!'". The S.O.B. wanted to argue with me! "Yes, they are all same!" "Are not!" "Are too!". The conversation had officially degenerated into a playground squabble. We walked away and went to the 'Welcome Aboard' orientation since we has missed the one the day before.

Later, Maureen did the Greek lesson, we did the trivia quiz (I got 11/15, beaten by a table of high school kids by one point...) and then we went in to Mykonos.

Mykonos is an island that appears to be largely abandoned by any sort of productive trade. Instead, it seems to depend soley on tourists for its revenue. I said to Maureen that I thought there must be a real love-hate relationship between the indiginous people and the American tourists. "I'll bet they see that cruise ship coming across the horizon and the entire town heaves a collective 'oh, shiiiiiit...'" Maureen agreed, saying, "I'll bet it is like Fantasy Island: the mayor comes out and announces, 'Smiles, everyone, smiles' and the town idiot comes running out shouting 'da sheeep, da sheeeeep!" And, sure enough, it was just as we expected: street after street of tatty crap being sold to the highest bidder. Not quite as bad as San Marino, but close. It was picturesque, to be sure. However, there were TONS of storefronts and houses that were boarded up, and not just for the season, I fear. We walked every inch of the town, snapped some pics and then headed back to the ship.

Once we were scanned back onto the boat, we went to our cabin, which I haven't described heretofor. So: this is where we are staying: cabin 4226 is a spacious room with two twin beds, an oversized love seat and a refrigerator. There is a 36 inch flat screen and plenty of closet space. The bathroom is the only negative about the cabin: there is no real hot water, and the bathroom floods when you take a shower since it has no pan. Just a drain in the ground. There is a squeegie provided to rake the excess water to the many drains in the floor. But, I digress...

We sat and watched a few minutes of L'eredita'. When the dinner bell (figuratively) rang, we headed up to the restaurant for dinner. We were seated with a very sweet young couple staying in Athens for the semester. They are students enrolled in a bible college in Arkansas (?). We had a very nice conversation with them, nice even though the young man kept calling me 'ma'am...'
As a side note:
The cruise is inhabited by group after group of college, mostly, high school aged student tour groups. They are mostly EF, but was have on this leg some Explorica and ACIS groups. They are mostly underage barefooted kids buying alcohol at the many bars. Tonight on the phone, my dad suggested that Maureen and I should be in our element on this vacation. Maureen suggested that we had gone to the other side of he world to GET AWAY from high school aged kids. I reminded my dad of the concept of a busman's holiday. For those who don't know, or have never heard the term: a busman's holiday is when you do the same thing on your vacation as you do when you work, e.g. When a man who drives a bus for a living goes to his destination, on a bus.

Anyhow... After our dinner of Greek mezes, we retired to the Rendez-vous Lounge where we each had a pina colada and a banana mocha latte. The hits were not so widely attended, which was disappointing since last night, she had us standing in the aisles. But, if tonight was supposed to be quieter since we have to be up with the chickens, then that explains why we were two of about 6 people in the audience, I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the hits myself. We stayed through one set and then decided to call it a night.

So, the theme of today: make the most of every day. As WHAM said in their seminal hit of the early 1980's "Make the most of everyday/ don't let hard times get in your way/ give a wham, give a bam/ but don't give a damn..." Never have truer words been uttered...

domenica 1 aprile 2012

Izmir

Day 2 or 3 depending on when we are starting count...

This morning, we got up at 6 and went for a run, a Starbucks and breakfast in the hotel, (btw: the breakfast was the best hotel breakfast either one of us has ever eaten. Beautiful eggs and cheeses. Even the coffee was good. The juice... Well, it can't all be perfect...) we needed the sustinence after our run. We went from the hotel up to the main drag and ran down the hill, back up the hill and to the traffic circle and back twice. On our first trip to the traffic circle, two drunk and unkempt Turks appeared in our path and started cat calling. One actually reached out and grabbed Maureen, while I was able to elude the other. Maureen threw an elbow and got away. It was a little scary. Neither one of us had ever been so aggressively "pursued" before so that was a new one for the both of us.

Nonetheless, we were feeling like we had accomplished quite a bit by the time we made it to the airport at 11:00 for what we were told was a 1:00 flight. We had another Starbucks, ate some nuts, listened to a bunch of American school kids sing while they were waiting for THEIR flight... We did this until 1. At 1, we queued up to board the flight. We were on by 1:15. It was only then that the ground crew began loading the bags. They scanned every bag before loading them on. At 2:15, we were STILL sitting on the tarmac. Our cruise ship is underway at 5:30, from Izmir. At this point, I am thinking we are NEVER going to get there. Maureen, who has typically been the optimistic one is also starting to doubt whether or not we are going to have an actual vacation that does not involve sitting in airports around the globe. As it stands, we have spent more time in airplanes/ airports since Friday at 4, than outside of them. It is Sunday. We did have a bit of excitement when we saw Hilary Clinton's big "United States of America" plane on the tarmac of the Istanbul airport. Had I known she was in town, I would have asked to hitch a ride with her... it wouldn't have hurt to ask, in any case...

In the end, the plane took off at 2:40, the same time that a baby began screaming. We listened to this new born squeal for the entirety of the 1 hour flight. I said in a rather loud voice, "If this were America, TSA would have escorted this screaming brat off long ago." Just call me a 'goodwill ambassador...'

We landed, collected our bags, which we were forced to check against our will, and exited the airport. (Did you know that you have to clear security as soon as you enter the airport in Turkey, and once you exit, you cannot re-enter, even the public spaces, without being scanned again?) There was no nice man holding a sign with our names on it. We waited and watched the clock. We had no number, no address, no instructions how to find the cruise ship. Now, it may be obvious to some, er, many of you that you just go to the port and there is the cruise ship. I am not a cruise-taker. While I might assume that the ship would be in A port, I wouldn't ever presume to know WHICH port, especially in a place where I do not speak the language. So, we waited a little longer. The ship was meant to set sail at 5:30. By 4:15, we were still weighing our options. Maureen went up to the taxi captain, who spoke very little English, and asked where the port was. He really understood nothing. At one point, a taxi, excuse me, taksi driver came up. He also spoke no English, however operating on the assumption that two Turks who speak no English make one who does, they began trying to crack the code of the two American women before them. At a certain point, the captain made a phone call and then handed me the phone. I spoke a very tentative "hello" down the receiver, to which I heard, "yes, where do you wanna go?" in very clear but heavily accented English. Thank GOD! I explained the situation. he asked if I meant to go to Izmir or Kusadasi. I said Izmir and he said, "well, then, you want to go to the port. Hand me back to my friend." In 30 seconds, we were in a cab and headed to the ship. We all agreed that the cab ride wouldn't cost more than 45 Turkish Lira, and sure enough, it came in under bid at 42.50. We got on board, into our spacious (I'm not being sarcastic, it is bigger, nicer than several of the rooms we have stayed in on our journeys...) cabin.

We have fallen into school trip, beach week on the med hell. Everywhere you look you see 16 year old scantily clad kids swilling alcohol or running down the halls of the ship. We even encountered a set of bare footed girls who wanted to use the exercise equipment in the gym today. Maureen chased them out at one point, but, like a couple of bad pennies, they were back in a few minutes, still without shoes, and testing the boundaries. We just let it go... Dr. Phil's 'would you rather be right or happy' mantra came to mind.

We ate dinner in one of the buffets tonight. Not exceptional, but passable. We are looking forward to eating one night in the 'you pay extra for actual good food' restaurant here on board, and then eating in our favorite restaurant in London on Sunday, Cecconi's. (Note to self... make a reservation for Sunday!)

After dinner, we picked up a bottle of Bailey's from the duty-free gift shop and came back to the room. We watched a little TV and had a little nip, then at 10:30, we went up to the "Metropolitan Lounge" where we were serenaded by "The Cristal Entertainment Team," which consists of, what I assume are an Asian husband-wife team, husband who plays the synth and wife who sings the hits. Sipping a pina colada (yes, insert Rupert Holmes here) and a chocolate martini, we listened until 11:30, when "Billy" came out for a sing-along of modern and traditional Greek melodies. We retired to the "Stars Lounge and Disco" and enjoyed some more hits for a few minutes when we decided enough was enough, and called it a night.

Tomorrow, we are not really sure what is going to happen... the latest edition of the "Cruise News" hasn't appeared under our door yet. But, regardless, we'll be up at 6 to hit the gym by 7 and breakfast by 8. We will be in Piraeus tomorrow, but only for a very short time. It is my understanding that there are no excursions tomorrow, so we will be on board for the duration. Not really sure how that is going to work. But, at least there is a gym with an elliptical machine and we can get our exercise in. AND, neither one of us has been seasick yet. Although, we are both wearing the little wrist bands. I am afraid to take them off, as they seem to be working. But, unless I take them off, I won't know if they work, or if I simply don't get seasick. Better to be safe than sorry!

Maureen and I are having fun, even though it sounds like we are doing a lot of complaining. It is just that it is not what we expected, However, it is ALWAYS and adventure. We hope that you are enjoying your Spring Break/ Holy Week, even if it is adventure-free!

kalispera!
(good evening in transliterated Greek)